Women in Worship: Carly Voinski

I have to say, if you would have told me a few years ago that I would be asked to guest blog on the topic of being a woman in worship, I would have laughed in your face. Not because I didn’t love God, I did. Not because I wasn’t serving in a church, I was. But because I was left feeling that women in worship were somehow “less than”, that we weren’t as important, that we couldn’t be used by God to do as much as our counterparts and that frankly, no one cared. I am so thankful that Rachel asked me to write for you all, because it has reminded just how much God has worked in my life since that 

time.

I’ve been serving on a worship team consistently for the past eight years. A lot can happen in eight years, and musically, everything can change in eight years. And so it has. I was around for the transition from hymns and 90’s praise band style to contemporary worship band. Not easy. I could get into the typical messiness of the transition for all involved but really, as a woman in worship, the effect on me is something I don’t think any of the men we serve with would understand.

I was a young wife at the time, a brand spanking new mom, and 22. I dressed “on trend”, I sang with a loud voice, and I chose not to stand still when I sang. I was a distraction. That’s the most appropriate word for how I was left to feel anyway. I was in a constant battle between being me and being who others thought I should be. Everyone had a comment. I was too dressy. I wasn’t dressy enough. I should wear flats. I should wear heels. I should wear baggier pants. I should look put together……..what?! 

By the way, no matter how much anyone says “it’s not personal”, it is. It’s very personal. The hurt goes deep. Here I was with both the heart and skill for this ministry, but all I was ever talked to about was how I could change myself into something someone else felt more comfortable with. And I was alone. There were zero other women to talk to about this. Most times I was the only woman at practices. My female peers didn’t know exactly what to say. The only difference between me and them was that they weren’t on a stage in front of hundreds of people each week. So, all of this to say that I was left feeling that the desire in my heart, to be used by God to lead others in worshipful response to his truth, would never be satisfied. 

There was something in me that kept going though. Looking back on it I see how the strength of the Lord carried me through the hurt, through the messiness. I think many young women would have quit and left “church” all together, living a life of hatred towards the church of their parent’s generation. I’ve seen it, our words can drastically pull a person away from God. Apparently God’s plan for me was different. His plan for me was to dig deep into understanding both who I am in Christ and what he has planned for me.

My confidence comes from Jesus, not myself. I know that I am a child of God. I am seen as righteous in his sight. I am forgiven, loved, and accepted. I am an heir of all things in heaven and will be higher than the angels. I have a strength that can do all things. I have a voice to praise God. I am a daughter of the High King and He has a plan for me. 

When God uses the people in your life to confirm his plans and promises, it’s amazing. I began to get asked to lead worship at other events. Not long after, the leader of the worship ministry had enough faith in me to talk to leadership and have me not just sing on a Sunday, but actually lead on a Sunday. I got connected to thechurchcollective.com and began writing for their site and connecting to other worship leaders all over the world. I wasn’t alone anymore. I was living out the desire that had burned in my heart for so long. The lies I believed; that I needed to be someone else, that I could never be effective, that I wasn’t good enough, that people wouldn’t take me seriously; they’ve vanished. The people in my life are supportive and encouraging. The people with which I serve and do life with know my heart and who I am. I’m not hurting. I’ve actually been very comfortable. Now that’s a scary word; comfortable. Guess what? God heals hurt, and he stretches comfort. 

The church that eight years ago made an uncomfortable transition has grown, has been blessed, and has cast a vision to plant churches all over our county in New Jersey. The first church plant will launch in early 2017 in Toms River, New Jersey, where I will be the worship leader. Scary. Exciting. Terrifying. Fulfilling. 

On the days when I was so hurt I would cry to my husband, or worse, cry by myself, the idea of launching a new church as the worship leader couldn’t have even entered my imagination. I was focused on the circumstances around me and ultimately the real distraction, which was the enemy trying to make me quit. The idea that God would fulfill my desire in such a way was beyond comprehension for me. 

Worship women, stay strong. Be confident in who you are. I can testify that it’s true, when you are aligned with God your desires match up to his will. You are not alone. It is easier, now more than ever, to connect with other women in our situation. Be a mentor to someone younger. Be an encourager. Worship the Lord with the voice he has given you. Follow his lead and enjoy the ride.

A lot can happen in eight years. 

Bring it On: Meredith Kinleigh

Hey, everyone!  My name is Meredith Kinleigh.  *insert lengthy, choreographed handshake here*  I’m a new artist in the Christian Music scene, and I just completed my first tour!  I was out with Jason Crabb and Natasha Owens in February, and then Natasha and I jumped over to the Bring It On Tour with Kutless and 7eventh Time Down.  I couldn’t have imagined this adventure that was awaiting me.

I’ll tell you what…my blog title is easier said (or typed) than done, and I’ll tell you why.  If you were to ask me to describe myself as a character in a book, I would say “’Bilbo Baggins’ from J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit.”  Ok so, no, I don’t have hairy feet, and I’m considered fairly tall as a person.  I’m like Bilbo in the way that I enjoy the comforts of home.  I like my daily routines.  I enjoy knowing where I’m going to be and what I’m going to be doing “tomorrow.”  Know what I mean?  I’ve never considered myself a huge adventurer or risk-taker.  I dislike saying “goodbye” to who and what I hold dear, and I’m not a huge fan of major change.  The Lord played the role as “Gandalf” in my life and called me on this grand adventure that is seemingly quite the opposite life for a person like me.  

See, on tour, you have no idea what “tomorrow” will bring or look like; some days you may not even get to shower, which isn’t awesome.  You might as well throw routine out the window...along with your shampoo...(totally kidding).  Overall, we had sufficient shower privileges, but little things like that can really stretch you as a person.  Being 1 of 4 girls on a tour of 25 people was quite adventurous, I’d say.  It was definitely “the land of the bros,” but all the guys were great.  The tour pranks were kept very much at bay, which I was grateful for.  :)  I wasn’t used to staying up so late, so that took some getting used to.  Sleeping on a bunk in a moving bus is an adventure in itself.  And so is trying to curl your hair in a bathroom on a moving bus (I really think that should be added as an Olympic sport.)  Furthermore, it was not an easy thing to say goodbye to my family and church for a month and a half, nor saying goodbye to dear friends on tour made in a short period of time not knowing when/if we’d ever cross paths again.  If I could have it my way, I’d have best friends forever and ever who would all be across the street all the time.  Hahaha.  I also have never been a huge fan of “the spotlight.”  I am an extrovert, but I’m one of those introverted extroverts.  In other words, I deal with a lot of shyness.  Putting myself out there and putting on a show on the stage is something that I have really had to work on.  I have literally had to practice “getting outside of myself” because if I don’t feel super “in the zone” during a performance, I’m tempted to “revert to form,” which in my case is just standing there and singing.  Ok...all this banter to say…TOUR LIFE = GOODBYE COMFORT ZONE.  

As hard as it was and is at times, I’m so grateful that God decided to call me into this kind of ministry and gently pull me out of my coveted zone of comfort.  Looking back, I see how His plan was completely flawless.  He has taught me SO many things on this journey, but I’d like to share two specific ones with you all.  The first truth He has shown me is that this journey has been propelled SOLEY by His sufficient and unending grace.  I’ve realized that my own strength is nowhere to be found, and that is pretty wonderful.  Now, I’m not saying that people who are totally adventurous and made for the road are at a disadvantage to receiving God’s grace if they’re called to tour life.  Not in the slightest!  They rock and roll and receive His grace in other ways.  My experience, however, has been quite different.  

This is a picture that I saw on Facebook right before I left for tour that really inspired me:

Awwww snap!  So much truth in that simple picture!!  God often calls us to a purpose that we can’t imagine ourselves being able to fulfill, but that’s a beautiful thing because God’s grace is able to SHINE through our successes and victories.  We don’t have a single chance to give credit to our own abilities.  Stepping out of our comfort zone where life stays ordinary gives God the opportunity to do extraordinary things in our life; it gives Him a chance to “show off.”  

The second truth God has revealed to me during this journey is that not only does He want me to step out of my comfort zone for my own benefit, but also for the benefit of others.  Now, hang with me for a second…I’m gonna bunny trail really quick.  I’ll make it back to the original point, I promise.  :D  Whatever reason that we are paralyzed to our comfort zones (fear, anxiety, worry, pride, inflexibility, stubbornness) stems from selfishness…whew, that’s heavy, I know.  You might be thinking, “How could being afraid come from selfishness?”  Well, who are we looking at and focusing on if we’re not looking at Jesus?  Ourselves!  We think we know exactly what will happen if we step outside our comfort zone; we worry about silly things and expect the worst, not even considering what God can do.  When we’re afraid, we’re not trusting in Him; we’re putting Him in a box and limiting His power.  Oftentimes, we think WE know what’s better for us than what GOD has in store for us to help us grow and mature.  As I reflect on when I took the somewhat nervous leap into this career 2 years ago, I can say without a doubt that I am not the same person that I was.  I cannot put a price on what God has allowed me to experience.  There have been hardships and struggles along the way, yes, but there has been SO MUCH fulfillment, joy, and victory- things I doubt I would have experienced at my desk doing children’s ministry at my church in my little hometown (AKA “comfort zone”).  I have overcome so much since then that wouldn’t have been possible staying in that comfort zone.  So, the best way to overcome selfishness and all the mess that it brings is looking at Jesus and loving Him so much that we desire to please Him.  What has He called us to do?  He has called us to “make disciples of all nations.” (Matt. 28:19)  Don’t you think that the heart of God is to bring joy to His children and then send us out to tell others about that joy?  In other words, His perfect plan will be for the benefit of our lives AND for the benefit of others’ lives.  This is your cue to say “Yessss, she finally brought that bunny trail back to her point!” ;)  

All comfort zones have a limit.  You can only advance the Kingdom of God so far by staying in one place.  I have found that the best antidote for overcoming any negative feeling that would keep me from stepping outside of my comfort zone is realizing that I have been given life to pour it out.  And that comes with the best fulfillment we could ever desire.  By first dedicating OUR heart to the Lord, He will then give us HIS heart for others.  But do not think that God won’t take care of you while you’re constantly pouring out.  He will constantly be pouring into you.  God has promised that He will be with you always.  Joshua 1:9 says, “Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”  And we all know that there is nothing but perfect peace, perfect joy, and perfect love in His presence.  

Thank you all so much for reading!!  I hope this post was a fun break in your day and encouraging to your heart.  I had so much fun reliving some of my recent tour adventures with you.  And a big thanks to Mrs. Rachel Parrish for allowing me the privilege of sharing on her blog.  <3  If you would like to see some pictures from and hear details about the Bring It On Tour and keep up with me during future adventures, go follow me on my social media pages  Instagram: meredithkinleigh; Facebook fan page: Meredith Kinleigh; Twitter: @mkinleigh; Blog: meadowlarkmusic.weebly.com; Snapchat: mkinleighmusic.  Blessings and love to you guys!  -MKinleigh <3

Following Our Shepherd

Hello everyone!

Happy Tuesday everyone! Is daylight savings kicking anyone else's butt? There was once a time when I could weather this season in about a day or two... but now, not so much. I do have to admit, I love the extra hours of sun. I guess that's the California girl in me. When I think about whether or not I could live in different parts of the country, that's the one thing that keeps me right where I am... the weather.

Anyways, speaking of weather, I just got back from sunny Ventura CA. Seriously, it was just what the doctor ordered. Sometimes you just need a brisk morning walk by yourself in the beach air and a cup of snobby coffee while you walk and pray. I was so refreshed. 

I've been thinking about what it looks like to take hold of your relationship with Christ, and the importance of clinging to the Word. I've been going through Psalm 119 in my quiet time with Jesus. I think I've shared this with you before, but King David is singing his praises about how much he loves the Word of God. In Bible 10, were discussing The Good Shepherd sermon in John 10.  Jesus comes right out of the gate warning people and telling them what thieves and robbers look like, and how they sneak in and steal the sheep. The scariest thing I think is that the thieves don't break in and take them, they pretend to be the shepherd so that the sheep just go willingly. They imitate the shepherd's individual and distinct call,  It's the only way to get a sheep to follow. Some sheep herders still use this method of sheep herding. Their sheep are so well trained that even in the midst of mixed flocks, they would naturally separate themselves if they heard the call of their shepherd.

Jesus has a distinct call. He has a distinct message, in fact it's so distinct, it's the only one of it's kind. Have you noticed how our culture is trying to either change that call, or even replace it all together? A call that claims to have more freedom than the grace of Jesus. A call that would actually say that His word is flawed, and even hateful.  This is what Jesus is warning us about. Jesus tells us that the sheep who know the voice of their shepherd won't even hear the call of a stranger or an impostor. They stay put, and are not tricked into following this false call. 

It's only been in the last few years, that I can say that I am confident in the voice of my Shepherd, Jesus. It's only been in the last few years that I really started to dive into His word and read what he really said. But let me tell you, it has been such a transforming few years. It's really amazing how sneaky the enemy is. Women of the Word, I encourage you to be steadfast in your devotion to the Word of God. I think it's David's devotion to the Lord, and his knowledge of the heart of God we can only find in scripture that inspires him to write Psalm 119...and then it's the same call that calls him back in his failure in Psalm 150. David is so confident in the Word. Even in our sin; no matter how great, we can rely on the call of grace and truth that Jesus so uniquely sends to us. Cling to your Bibles, Ladies. Let us be passionate about the words of Jesus. Let us lean on them and long for them like King David, so that we would be so familiar with our Shepherd's voice that we wouldn't even hear the voice of another.

Identity and Modern Womanhood

Happy Wednesday to you all! I hope your week is going well thus far. Today started a little sad for me, Nate left for tour yesterday, but he'll be back right before Spring Break, so that's a good thing. Also, school is so crazy, I'm able to find distraction and comfort at work. I know Nate loves being on tour, and he is living out his dream, so that makes it a little easier too.

Anyways, for the past few weeks I've been super burdened to talk about this subject, but I've had a hard time putting it on paper (or screen). Do things sometimes bother you, but you can't really put your finger on it? That's how I've been since seeing the previews for Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising, How to be Single, and The Boss. I wasn't mad about what I was seeing, I was sad.  During the course of these movie previews My heart broke as I watched our mainstream media send a very clear message: Gentleness and Modesty are equal to weakness or backwards thinking, and what you want is all that matters. There are all these preconceived ideas what modern women should be doing. I'm not so sure.

"If you don't decide who you are the world will do it for you." This is a saying I discuss in my high school Bible class. I think applies to all people of any age.What is the world turning us women into? Does strong womanhood and sense of self mean that you are entitled, that you have the right, to indulge your every whim even or especially at the expense of others? I think generally, the World's reply might be "yes" and it breaks my heart. I don't bring this up to condemn, I just want to challenge what modern womanhood looks like. Gentleness, Kindness, Modesty (not having to do with how much our little you wear), are not synonymous with weakness, or lameness. I couldn't think of  a smarter sounding word.

If we look to the Word, the entire book of Ecclesiastes shows that no excess of indulgence will ever truly fulfill us. We won't find who we are or who we want to be by serving ourselves only, we will only find loneliness. Ladies, there are Godly and courageous women all over our Bible. Being Gentle or Modest does not mean we sit quietly and just let the world go by. By no means!Look at Deborah in Judges! When the king is too cowardly to fight for the God of Israel in Battle, she suits up!  Esther, when she realizes her people are in danger of mass genocide, she goes to the king expecting to be killed, but having great faith that Lord the will see her through. Ruth, is a Moabite, but she is loyal, and sticks with Naomi to the very end, eventually marrying Boaz, the kinsman's redeemer and is the grandmother of King David. Mary is a teenage girl engaged to be married and the Lord gives her the Job of being the mother to the Jesus, the Man of Sorrows, knowing he is going to be the Savior but having no clue how it would all go down. Not to mention being pregnant with baby that's not Joseph's. Courageous, Gentle, Kind, Modest. Strong.

What do you think? Do you see this trend growing? Am I overly sensitive? Am I backwards? It's all food for thought, but I would love to hear what you think.

See you soon!

Women In Worship: Rachel Storment

I have been the worship pastor at my church for a little over two years now with a predominantly male volunteer and staff base. Previous to being the worship pastor  at Destiny Christian Church in Rocklin, CA, I served as an associate worship pastor, a college group worship leader, and before that…. a worship intern (basically, I served as the stage vacuumer, coffee runner, and music organizer.) Worship ministry has been a huge part of my life for a little over 8 years now, so as I look back on my journey as a woman in worship ministry from intern to  worship pastor, I have reflected on some of the struggles and lessons learned along the way:

1.    I don’t have anything to prove.

            This was a HUGE struggle for me. When I moved away to college, I was struck for the first time how much assumption was placed into the idea that women were musically incompetent. As someone who had studied music her entire life, you can imagine my struggle when I walked into settings where my competence was questioned  MERELY because of my gender; it was a grace-growing opportunity to learn how to navigate having a tough skin but maintaining a tender spirit, not lashing out in anger, but instead approaching the situation with a meek and gentle demeanor. I did not let people walk all over me, or speak down to me, but I also had to learn that I am accountable to Christ alone: I have nothing to prove. I am responsible to be a good steward of the gifts God has given me, lead in GRACE, and walk out a life of integrity, love, peace, and gentleness.

2. Being a woman does not give me a ‘free pass’ to be ignorant of Theology.

           

            Women tend to be very emotionally-charged beings—we are very in-touch with who we are, and the world around us. We feel very deeply, and tend to base our ‘reality’ (or what we perceive to be the reality of God) on how we are feeling. Now don’t get me wrong… our feelings and emotional intimacy with the world around us is an amazing GIFT from God. However, if ‘feelings’ are not coupled with proper orthodoxy, we can easily be led astray.  The Scriptures say to TEST all things (including our own emotions or even perceptions of what we believe to be the ‘voice’ of the Holy Spirit) and approve it by the Scriptures  before accepting it as God’s Truth.   (1 Thessalonians 5:21, 1 John 4:1). It is dangerous territory to NOT know the Word, and yet attempt to lead people into the Presence of God. If we do not KNOW God, or the Christian perspective of the world, how are we expected to lead people in the charge of pursuing right relationship with Him? Study the Word, and KNOW the God you serve.

3. Do not isolate yourself from other women, and do not forget to INVEST in the Kingdom.

            Being that most worship teams are predominantly male, it is so easy as a female worship leader (or worship pastor) to begin to just ‘spend time with the guys’ and forget to invest in the other females around you. This can happen for many reasons, the most common being jealousy. If you are the ONLY female on your team, you can begin to feel extremely territorial: You feel like you are so incredibly needed… one of a kind, even! This can lead to you shutting out opportunities for other women to become involved in worship ministry. Oftentimes, you will nit-pick other females’ abilities simply because you are insecure about your place in ministry. Continue to remind yourself of this not-so-fun fact: YOU ARE NOT INDISPENSABLE (nor SHOULD you be.) YOU are replaceable. It is unhealthy to create an environment that rises and falls solely around your presence.

            As leaders, we need to be investing in other leaders… as FEMALES, we need to be investing, mentoring, and walking with OTHER females. We also need to remember to ALWAYS have people in our lives who have the permission to speak into us, hold us accountable, and challenge us. It would be my greatest downfall as a leader to have a  ministry which was dependent solely on my own abilities: I should continuously be multiplying and developing those around me.

4. It is less about ‘Being a Woman in Ministry’ and MORE about ‘Being a Christ-Follower’

            We can spend so much time getting hung up on ‘what it means’ to be a woman in ministry that we forget our ultimate calling in life: To love God, love others, serve Him faithfully, and live a life WORHTY of the calling marked out for us. Spend time in the Word. Listen to the Holy Spirit. Surround yourself with people who hold you accountable. Be a good steward. KNOW who God created you to be…. and then be that person on PURPOSE. 

Be sure to follow Rachel's journey on Instagram. Make sure you get over to iTunes and download Destiny Christian Church's new EP Our Great King. My favorite song is Halleluiah, What A Savior. Rachel adds a modern touch to a song I already love so dearly. Make sure you give it a listen! 

Also! If you are a woman in worship ministry, I would to love to share your heart and perspective! If that sounds like something you would be interested in, please email me at ParrishTheThoughtBlog@gmail.com 

See you soon!

Rainy Day Schedule: What Does The World Need From You?

Hello! I am so glad it's Thursday! I had a four day week, but I already need a weekend! Who's with me? This is the part of the school year that really exhausts teachers and students. I refer to it as the long haul. No breaks till spring break and then no breaks until summer. I watch my students gradually become zombies, while also weirdly honing their critical thinking skills... Critical Thinking Zombies, they should make a movie about that!

Anyways, while preparing for this zombie apocolypse, I've made a commitment to being constantly aware of my surroundings. Not because of potential Zombie attack, but to be intentionally looking for inspiration. 

Today at our teacher's devotion (I know, I work with people who do devotions before work, its like some kind of dream), our head of school told us about a study done on two kinds of people. I could Rachel 1 or Rachel 2 and could choose which one of those I wanted to be. R1 is the type who lets the pursuit of her own fame drive her and everything about her, her bank account is driven by what brings her glory...and ultimately never has enough. R2 is the type of person who asks "What does the world need from me?" "What does the world need? How can I help?" or from a more Christian perspective... "What does the world need, and how can I be in Jesus in that way?" And that's what drives everything they do.

I was so struck by the Holy Spirit in this devotion today. How can I be Jesus and really provide the needs of my students? I sincerely want them to achieve great things on this earth, because I dearly love them, and I want them to love Jesus. They are not mutually exclusive. I've actually completely changed my lesson plan for next week. Bringing the Gospel, SAT prep style! Will someone write a book about me? Probably not. I'm not doing anything glamorous or sexy (weird). But Which Rachel am I going to be? Which Rachel does the Lord want me to be? Who or what will drive everything I do, and how I can leave an impact? Do you think about things? Which version of yourself are you? I really had to think about it, and I would encourage you to do the same!

Not bad for a Thursday morning teacher's devotion! See you soon :)

The Longest Short Season- A guide to having a meltdown

Hello there, and happy Tuesday to you! Today feels very much like a Monday to me. I had yesterday off, and Tuesday's are chapel days at work which means my precious students and I have to be at school at 6:30 AM, so long weekends come to a very rude end for us. But that's not really what I wanted to discuss today.

If you've been following along with the Parrish world, you may already know that we have been navigating through a bummer season with the cancelling of the most recent Kutless tour.  The Lord has been so good to provide for us through all of it, and he has been so very faithful in preserving mine and Nate's relationship, but I have to be honest; we have had our fair share of meltdowns. 

I had a major one yesterday. I have had more than one in this season, and so has Nate. We get set off from different things, that usually have nothing to do with what we're actually feeling in our heart. Yesterday I lost my debit card, and I just lost it. I folded laundry in tears and poured out my heart while Nate just kind of sat and listened. Nate had a meltdown last week, and I actually don't remember what set him off. But it was my turn at that time to listen. Neither one of us ever really knows what to say, we just sit and listen.

This season started for us around thanksgiving. Taking turns having meltdowns and taking turns listening and encouraging. What I'm continuing to learn is that these seasons are the cost of following your dreams. Never have learned better the importance of prayer and being in the word, so that I can have the strength and wisdom to keep on being Nate's number one cheerleader, and to remember that following your dreams and your calling is worth it. Serving Jesus and living out your dreams is a scary thing. We're experiencing the not so fun side right now, and I am just now after 4 months of this, starting to learn this marriage lesson that the Lord obviously had planned. What has probably hit me the most about all of this was that I didn't learn it from being an awesome cheerleader... I got it from needing/having one.

New Column?! Leading Ladies: Women In Worship

Hey Ladies!

I've wanted to do this for a while, and I feel that now is the perfect time. Its no mystery that I have a passion for Music, and worship leadership in the church. The only thing is, sometimes when you are a leader, it's hard to meet other awesome ladies who lead, and hear their hearts and ideas. So, I feel that now is the right time to turn a new leaf for Parrish The Thought, and start including other ladies. My first column, of what I hope will be a few, will be Women in Worship. I'm sure i'm not the only girl who wants to know the hearts of the women who lead our congergations in to the presence of the Lord. I'm really excited about meeting and hearing those of you who share this passion with me! If you know a leading lady, or if you ARE a worship leader/pastor at your church, please shoot me an email at ParrishTheThoughtBlog@gmail.com! I wanna know you! I can't wait to hear from you.


Photo by Abby Castrillo (She also does all the Parrish and Kingdom Band photography)