Walking Through Unavoidable Stress

Hello everyone!

Since our major announcement, that had nothing to do with having children, life has flipped 180 degrees, upside down, crazy! We've left Napa, and are now living with my folks in Stockton. We're living in the apartment on their property, so while we totally have our own space, we haven't really un-boxed anything and won't until we actually move in the middle of August. That means our place looks like an episode of "Hoarders", In fact I have no clue where my Bible currently is. I took it out of a box . I know some of you are already feeling uncomfortable, but you know what, it's life!

Chalk it up to having never really done anything like this before, but I was shocked how I subconsciously want to get to a new normal that I know won't exist for another 6-8 months. It's an inner struggle that has left me very very stressed, and it completely snuck up on me.  I looked at my tired self in the mirror and it hit me, and maybe this is you, but when I'm stressed this is what happens to me:

This is a picture from when we still lived in Napa, but the mess communicates my life right now.

1. I don't sleep at all.
   My brain just won't stop. I'll find sleep randomly if I slow down for a little while, but when it's actually time to sleep I just keep thinking and thinking and thinking. (A white noise app if helpful for this)
2. I eat.
   So much emotional eating happening right now.(That's had turned it's ugly head in the mirror as well, gotta get find that inner peace/ Bible quick and get my butt to the gym!)
3. I shop.
   Obsessively. Retail therapy has always been my go-to. But after a little while everything looks the same, and shopping becomes more depressing than theraputic. Retail therapy is not real therapy. 

So.... I've been praying and reading about what to do and how to survive so my three not so healthy defense mechanisms don't kill me. This is what has worked for me.  Maybe your defense mechanisms are different than mine, but I hope maybe this is can help you if you find yourselves in this crazy state of extreme transition.

1. Read your Bible.
   I have been reading Nathan's. Turns out, it says the SAME EXACT thing. I bought myself a little journal. Starting my day with the Lord, with a cup of coffee, reading and writing a little. This changes everything
2. Tidying up.
   I don't have a ton of control over my surroundings right now. There is not a single thing I can do about the mess of boxes. But I CAN keep the kitchen clear. I CAN clear off the little breakfast nook. I CAN keep the desk in bedroom clear. Focusing on the things that I can do...that's the sweet spot.
3. Make To-Do lists.
   I don't know about you, but when I see a sink full of dishes I just shut down. I get overhwhelmed at the sight, and pretend like its not there. The reality is, if I just tell myself "one dish at a time" it'll take me no time at all, and before I know it, the pile is gone. To-do lists are what tell me that my "dirty-dish pile" life can be done. Just one dish at a time. 
4. Find/Create/Define a creative space.
   Nate and I need creative space. Looking at stacks of boxes has got to be the least inspiring thing in the entire world. My friend Alyssa, from college just wrote this FANTASTIC article for Trouve Magazine about getting back your creativity, and for me, finding or creating a define creative space just spoke to me in a very profound way. For now, it looks like I'll be going to a coffee shop, but I plan on defining a space in our new place in Bakersfield.
5. Find your jam.
   This is my worship playlist. When I need to just be quiet by myself, or actually do the dishes, or box up a million things, or separate my clothes into Goodwill piles, this playlist keeps my focus on the big picture. I'm not doing this more no reason. God is moving Nate and I in a brand new and super exciting an wonderful direction. God is showing himself faithful to us! This playlist reminds me of that.

• Pieces -Amanda Cook
• Out of Hiding -Steffany Gretzinger
• God I Look To You - Jenn Johnson 
• King of my Heart- John and Sara Macmillan
• Place of freedom- Highlands Worship
• Jesus is alive- Fellowship Creative
• Here-Kari Jobe
• Come To The Altar- Elevation Worship
• Make a way- Desperation Band
• Refuge- Parrish 

Well friends, thats about it for me today. Hoping to have some outfit posts and more women in worship soon! Have a fantastic week!

Leaving Responsibility Behind

Hello everyone! So happy to blogging away on this foggy Napa valley morning. I feel like I really need to be soaking in every single one of these mornings, but more on that at a later time. I am finally on Summer vacation! Easter vacation was so early this year that it made the last 8 weeks of school absolutely unending. Normally we only have 4 or 5 weeks from easter to end, but wow... its amazing what those 3 weeks can do to a person. Anyways, how boring...sorry. But that's life right? Not always super cute and glamorous, and sometimes you don't wear make-up for two months, and you don't get your roots done on time.

Anyways, on to more fun stuff! Nate and I are beach people. We are California people to the core, and the past two summers didn't allow us much time to get to the beach, and it's looking like this summer might not be much different, so as we were laying bed Nate looked over and said "Do you wanna go to the beach tomorrow?" Music to my ears!

So here are some of our adventures. We went to Santa Cruz as we always do, and we definitely have our spots that we go to. "But first, coffee." That little buzz phrase just rings so true for me. We stopped by Verve Coffee (Nate isn't a coffee guy, but he insists we go to Verve every time. It's a major victory for me, but it really is that good). No pictures of coffee, but here are our gluten-donuts, that we probably the most delectable donuts ever (also, Nate posed for that picture on his own... He kills me with cuteness!).


Oh yeah, for those of you not following me on Insta, or Facebook (then how do you know this blog even exists?), I have pink hair now. I'm calling it my "Summer freedom" hair. If I've never bragged about my girl Amy James over at The Parlor in Napa, well, now I am. She is a master. I've been known to ask for some pretty crazy things on a whim... she's never phased. She's amazing, not to mention, she's a blast to be in the chair with. She's so fun and sweet, and adorable, and loves Jesus, and people. Seriously, She's a home-run. In fact, I've yet to meet a stylist at The Parlor I didn't want to be best friends with. They are all wonderful.

No waves today. I fact the beach was very very mellow, not a lot of people. I was able to read and soak up the 78 degree sun, and really just unwind. I'm currently reading Women of The Word by Jen Wilkins. It is seriously like sitting in coffee shop with someone telling you their journey of learning how to read scripture. It is just wonderful. Also, Matt Chandler writes the foreword, and even that is great. So, if you're looking for summer reading/study/practical advice on reading scripture, Women of the Word might be a good choice.

There are worse ways, and worse people to spend your day with.  I do love that man of mine. I've been recently reminded of how blessed I am to have someone to dream, and grow, and adventure with. It really was the most perfect day.


Stay tuned, more Women in Worship lined up, lot's of awesome news, it's going to be a great Summer! See you soon!

Real Talk Tuesday: Learning The Value and The Responsibility of Saying No.

Good Morning!

It's cloudy here in Napa, but thats not gonna get my spirits down! I've got two days to go until I get to pick up Nate from the airport, two days until Batman vs Superman, and last but not least, two days till...Spring Break! Only good things coming my way :)

Anywho, this past week has been incredibly busy. If youre a teacher, you know, the Spring is like a speeding train that comes to an abrupt halt at the end of the year. It just gets crazier and crazier (in a good and worthwhile way of course!) We start planning for next year as soon as Winter break is over. Last week those plans started moving in place. I've been running the Chapel Leadership team auditions and interviews. Chapel Leadership is a hand selected course for the students who lead worship and run our Chapel services through videos and slide shows. What I would have given to be in a class like that in high school! Anyways, I've been interviewing and kids for the past week, and it's been so fun! It is so uplifting to hear the testimonies of our students, and to hear their hearts for the Lord and his School. Vacaville Christian Schools is totally God's School. 

There is a downside though...The band selection of the class caps at 15. We need to have enough students to fill two full bands, then we have 3 or 4  tech kids. I always have way more students audition than can be added to the course, and I have to tell them "No". One year I took on 21 students, and sacrificed the tech-team. It was crazy! I thought 5 students extra coudln't possibly be that big of a deal, but I was wrong. Too many people means not enough oppertunity. It was impossible to give kids the kind of attention and musical instruction they needed or deserved. Too many students meant that I was overhwhelmed and impatient. Were they all excellent musicians? Yes. Was I a good teacher to them? Let's say I did the very best I could... but they deserved better. 

 Saying no is not fun, but it has to be done. I have to remember, that these kids aren't mine. This class isn't mine. Chapel isn't mine. Nothing is mine. It's all God's, and there is so much more happening behind the scenes than my class. All of these students have lives of their own that the Lord is working in. All of these students have lessons that the Lord is teaching them. I have to remember that the times that I heard "no" in my life, were the times when my walk with Christ grew the most. Ultimately, isn't that point of Chapel Leadership? To help the students at Vacaville Christian Schools grow in their walks with Jesus?

We always find ourselves wanting to say "yes" to everyone. We agree to do so much, that eventually something falls through the cracks. Sometimes the something is you! For me, I always say yes because I hate letting people down. I hate the idea of someone thinking that I can't do something. It's ALWAYS rooted in pleasing others. I end up having so much (or so many people) on my plate that no one is getting the best that I can offer, and that includes God. 

Colossians 3:17 says this:  ...whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Are you like me? Are you guilty of caring way too much about what other people think? While so much of following Jesus is easier said than done, we as Christians can rely on the power of the Holy Spirit and His still, small voice. HE will give is the wisdom, reassurance, and the confidence to say "no". We actually will be able do everything He wants us to do, and it will bring Him glory. He will give us the power to do everything He wants us to do, not everything. There's a big difference, and when learn that we find power...and peace.

Rainy Day Schedule: What Does The World Need From You?

Hello! I am so glad it's Thursday! I had a four day week, but I already need a weekend! Who's with me? This is the part of the school year that really exhausts teachers and students. I refer to it as the long haul. No breaks till spring break and then no breaks until summer. I watch my students gradually become zombies, while also weirdly honing their critical thinking skills... Critical Thinking Zombies, they should make a movie about that!

Anyways, while preparing for this zombie apocolypse, I've made a commitment to being constantly aware of my surroundings. Not because of potential Zombie attack, but to be intentionally looking for inspiration. 

Today at our teacher's devotion (I know, I work with people who do devotions before work, its like some kind of dream), our head of school told us about a study done on two kinds of people. I could Rachel 1 or Rachel 2 and could choose which one of those I wanted to be. R1 is the type who lets the pursuit of her own fame drive her and everything about her, her bank account is driven by what brings her glory...and ultimately never has enough. R2 is the type of person who asks "What does the world need from me?" "What does the world need? How can I help?" or from a more Christian perspective... "What does the world need, and how can I be in Jesus in that way?" And that's what drives everything they do.

I was so struck by the Holy Spirit in this devotion today. How can I be Jesus and really provide the needs of my students? I sincerely want them to achieve great things on this earth, because I dearly love them, and I want them to love Jesus. They are not mutually exclusive. I've actually completely changed my lesson plan for next week. Bringing the Gospel, SAT prep style! Will someone write a book about me? Probably not. I'm not doing anything glamorous or sexy (weird). But Which Rachel am I going to be? Which Rachel does the Lord want me to be? Who or what will drive everything I do, and how I can leave an impact? Do you think about things? Which version of yourself are you? I really had to think about it, and I would encourage you to do the same!

Not bad for a Thursday morning teacher's devotion! See you soon :)

Hometown Hangs

Hello everyone! It been quite the crazy day! During the summer I try to visit my hometown of Stockton fairly often to hang out with my parents, and old friends. My brother Matt is getting married to the most wonderful girl, Mandi, in August so my mom, Mandi's mom, and I took a trip to Galt, CA to shop the Galt Flea Market for fun and eclectic wedding stuff. So, so fun. What a place. I really love flea markets. They are full of interesting people, interesting food, and  interesting colors. Flea markets seriously have everything, and Galt does not disappoint.

 I have made a point to be as much like June Carter-Cash and/or Dolly Parton and/or Julie Andrews (I know interesting combo) as possible and have been on a mission for an Autoharp for a while. Well, today that hunt ended. I came away from my excursion having scored an Autoharp, a Frida kahlo printed mesh tote, and a tambourine... You can never have enough tambourines.

We also ventured into downtown Stockton to check out Hubba Hubba Antiques on the Miracle Mile. My mom was looking for vintage hankies, and she hit the jackpot. I am usually on the hunt for Native-American jewelry, but came up empty handed. However, I found no shortage of crazy cute stuff. 

I Invented the "It's not you, It's me"!

Hi Everyone! Happy Friday to you all! I hope this week has treated you well! It's been a fun one for me, just taking myself for walks all over beautiful downtown Napa.

Have you ever worn something you just didn't feel like you should wear? Today, thats me. There really isn't anything iniherantly wrong with what i'm wearing, or that I'm not pulling this top off, but you know, I just gotta face it. I don't think the boho look is really for me. I'm all about free-spiritedness, but, I think my deal is more retro/vintage/novelty. I call it, Sound of Music goes down town. It's just the truth. There is a moment in season 1 of New Girl where Jess let's one of Nick's girlfriends have it for making fun of the "thing she's got going on", and I feel like Jess just stole the words out of my heart and screamed them on TV.  Just because you like cute stuff and wear tons of color and polka dots, doesn't mean you're not strong.

Just because I'm not a bohemian hippy goddess doens't make me less... anything, it's just not me. Now a frilly shoulder calico top that looked like it might have belonged to little girl running on the prarie, and watermelon shaped purse? Thats me. 

A Summer Vacation For Real

Hello everyone! Happy Monday afternoon to you. Thought I'd share a few of he highlights of Nate's and my mini-vacation. You won't be shocked to hear that we went to Santa Cruz, our very favorite place in the whole wide world,  We went to our old favorites of course like Lulu Carpenters on Pacific Ave, but we actually did a little bit of adventuring out of our comfort zone and made new favorite places!

We went to the Santa Cruz flea market, and it was so fun, I totally forgot to take any pictures! Next time I guess, There will definitely be a next time. We ended up spending most our time in Capitola at the beach, it was a busy day at the beach, but not super crazy, and wow was it beautiful. I died over all the colors, and the houses were painted so amazingly. Nate and I found a favorite house and we appropriately named the house, House Goals. 

Also, For the very first time, I'm pleased to announce that I got Nate to go into Verve, the coffee place of my dreams. Good grief, that could have been the best mocha I have ever had. Caffeinated heaven, that little cup held! Even Nate couldn't stop stealing sips from time to time!

Eventually it had to end, but hey, calling Napa home isn't so bad after all!

Samosas and Italian soda

Seriously how beautiful is this walk way? So green!

Nate's a male model... Ridiculously good looking... And patriotic

House Goals

That little green camp mug though! Of course I had to have it.

Disneyland Forever!

Hello! Thought you might like to see a re-cap of what I've been up to since getting back from Spring break :) Let me tell you, I've been crazy busy...going to Disneyland!!

I really wasn't going for the dapper thing, but with short hair, and no ponytails, it just kind of happened to me. I've also been obsessed recently with my heart shaped glasses. Look how happy they are! Also, if you're drinking a mint julep in Disneyland, your glasses might just form themselves in hearts over the joy that fills your soul by being in Disneyland drinking a mint julep!

The weather was perfection, and the crowds weren't terrible! We ran into friends, that I  forgot to take pictures of because I was having too much to fun to stop and pull out my camera, and we ate the best food in the world.

My extremely sweet students made these glorious shirts for themselves with my face on them so that everyone could identify that we were a group. They also made me one...with their faces on it! I know they have to graduate, but I sure am going to miss these guys!

                                
Here's us looking all Choir-y...

Here's the real us!

So there you go, brief, but I feel like I got the job done... stay tuned for a real and more substantial post about needing creativity in my life! See you soon!!!

Good Friday-Death Was Buried In It's Grave

 

Hello There! Happy Good Friday to you. Today is the first day of my spring break, and seriously, I couldn't imagine a better way to spend the first day of my time off, thinking about what Jesus did for me, for all of us, on the cross. Nathan and I are very passionate about making sure people know that Jesus is Lord, and that they know that their guilt from sin and shame can be lifted. This is the song we wrote to express that day when Jesus took our sin on His shoulders and rescued us from what we actually deserve. Thank you Lord, for your salvation.

 

The lion became the lamb, so that you could be with Him in glory one day. Amen and Amen.

 

Santa Cruz, Not Beach Day: Battling Busyness

Hi Everyone! I know what you're thinking: ANOTHER beach trip?! The Answer is a loud and resounding and unapologetic, YES YES YES. Living in Napa, Santa Cruz is way more accessible than it used to be (and it still didn't stop us).  

The fact is, during the week, as a teacher there is no real down time. This sounds like maybe I'm not making an effort, but I can't leave work at work. I think and talk and live about my students. When I get home, I think and talk about school. So, weekend day-trips really do make all the difference for us. It allows us to get away and be a couple and talk about music, and Jesus, and life, and laugh and not wear work clothes or sweats. We get to catch up. If we're not very intentional about this kinda stuff, it's easy to slip away from each other and not even know it. Busyness gets the better of the both of us, and it really gets the better of me. This is how we battle it.

We did, however, venture out of our comfort zone! We went to this little cafe that I don't remember being at the end of Pac-Ave last time we were there. It's Called LuLu Carpenter. Nate isn't a coffee shop person (I know, very sad), so I knew I was taking a risk. It was so worth it. I had one of the best mochas I think I have ever had. The in-house whip cream is the perfect amount of sweetness (which for me isn't very sweet). And Nathan liked it too! It was so wonderful. 

Nate and I are also Boba or Bubble Tea fans. Some people don't like the texture, but I say, if Boba is wrong, then I don't want to be right! Also, How cute is this little cat, and the picture in the back! The shop is so bright and colorful! I just love it!

Northern California people! Do you have a place you love? I want to know! Do you have a coffee shop that you can't live without? Where's "your place"? Where do you go to get away for the day? I would love to hear about your favorite date places :)

See you soon!

Words of Wednesday

Hello Folks! I hope this Wednesday is going awesome for you. I wanted to share a little bit of what the Lord is doing in my life. We heard from Sasha Ivanovic, who runs Teen Challenge Serbia, and while he did talk a little bit about his ministry he mostly gave a message that really struck me. God has been teaching me a very hard lesson this year as a teacher, but it has grown my faith so much.

Isaiah 43: 18-29 “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

This was the verse our speaker spoke on. This verse just hit my heart so hard. Every year I have taught (only three, I have a lot to learn) has had such huge and very different challenges. Forget the former things, defeats of course, but sometimes the Lord calls us to forget about our victories! God is doing a new thing... It's one thing to learn from your past, but live in it and feed off of it, that can be very unhealthy. Even if the past was award winningly awesome. The Lord fills us to empty us again. This has been a year of emptying. 

I love being a teacher. It gives me purpose, motivation, and a creative outlet. Just like every year it has been filled with new and difficult challenges. The last two years, the challenges were more tangible. They were objective. Most of the time it was time and intentional organization that would fix them. This year the Lord has brought spiritual challenges. Not so objective. Not at all black-and-white.

God has been saying to me for a while,  "Forget last year. To do lists can wait. It's time to pray. It's time to read. It's time to prepare. Open your door and let students sit in the 'real talk' chair." I obeyed, and they started to come. The "real talk" chair gets a lot of use. There's no walking kids through the sinner's prayer or anything, but there is a lot of listening. 

It's like a light bulb went on. "Now it springs up, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland" We just obey, and he brings streams of live to the lands that are dry, and to people who are thirsty. It's amazing what prayer, listening, and obedience brings.

I'm a 'bound book' kind of girl

Hi Everyone! I got a new toy that I'm absolutely smitten with! The Polaroid 300 camera. It's virtually the same as the fujifilm instax camera except different colors. They also use the same film. I take it with me everywhere!

Nate and I went on a little walking date to Small World Cafe in Downtown Napa, Look at Nate's face! He's such a doll!

Aren't these so fun! I love the ones of my students. My chapel leadership kids were playing Mafia as a bonding game. Let's just make perfectly clear, I'm awful at being the mafia!They love each other so much, it does my heart so much good to be such sweet people to one another. Being a teacher is the best!

I count these last few weeks (only ten left) as fleeting blessing. This senior class means so much to me, I always say that is this is the class that taught me how to teach. I'm not emotionally prepared to see them move on. Oh no! I'm getting all proud and mushy, I have to stop. Have a fantastic weekend! I'm going wedding dress shopping with my brother's new fiance! I love adding girls to our family! Yay!

Before you go though... I am all about this song right now! This is Mount Zion by Cageless Birds. The end... Jesus is so awesome! See you soon!

Real Talk with Mrs. Parrish

Hey Everyone! Have you ever wondered where fashion/lifestyle bloggers find the time to look cute every day? I really do.Especially the one's that have jobs. I actually do make an effort every single morning to do my hair, and put on something cute, but when it comes to really doing my make-up, it just doesn't happen. I hate feeling like I have to rush, so I go to work bare-faced. I will say, my skin loves me for it. Maybe if I didn't have to work until 9am, I would have the time/energy to do my make-up, but since I commute, and school starts at 7:40, good skincare is all I've got.

So today I say, "If it's wrong to to post pictures of your outfits while not wearing make up in your classroom, then I don't want to be right!"

Here I am, not wearing make-up! This is how I normally look at school. I wear these glasses to appear like I kind of made some sort of beauty effort. To be truthful, I am in no way trying to make a statement by not wearing make-up, It's just that, in the battle between having coffee and wearing make-up...coffee always wins!

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