Walking Through Unavoidable Stress

Hello everyone!

Since our major announcement, that had nothing to do with having children, life has flipped 180 degrees, upside down, crazy! We've left Napa, and are now living with my folks in Stockton. We're living in the apartment on their property, so while we totally have our own space, we haven't really un-boxed anything and won't until we actually move in the middle of August. That means our place looks like an episode of "Hoarders", In fact I have no clue where my Bible currently is. I took it out of a box . I know some of you are already feeling uncomfortable, but you know what, it's life!

Chalk it up to having never really done anything like this before, but I was shocked how I subconsciously want to get to a new normal that I know won't exist for another 6-8 months. It's an inner struggle that has left me very very stressed, and it completely snuck up on me.  I looked at my tired self in the mirror and it hit me, and maybe this is you, but when I'm stressed this is what happens to me:

This is a picture from when we still lived in Napa, but the mess communicates my life right now.

1. I don't sleep at all.
   My brain just won't stop. I'll find sleep randomly if I slow down for a little while, but when it's actually time to sleep I just keep thinking and thinking and thinking. (A white noise app if helpful for this)
2. I eat.
   So much emotional eating happening right now.(That's had turned it's ugly head in the mirror as well, gotta get find that inner peace/ Bible quick and get my butt to the gym!)
3. I shop.
   Obsessively. Retail therapy has always been my go-to. But after a little while everything looks the same, and shopping becomes more depressing than theraputic. Retail therapy is not real therapy. 

So.... I've been praying and reading about what to do and how to survive so my three not so healthy defense mechanisms don't kill me. This is what has worked for me.  Maybe your defense mechanisms are different than mine, but I hope maybe this is can help you if you find yourselves in this crazy state of extreme transition.

1. Read your Bible.
   I have been reading Nathan's. Turns out, it says the SAME EXACT thing. I bought myself a little journal. Starting my day with the Lord, with a cup of coffee, reading and writing a little. This changes everything
2. Tidying up.
   I don't have a ton of control over my surroundings right now. There is not a single thing I can do about the mess of boxes. But I CAN keep the kitchen clear. I CAN clear off the little breakfast nook. I CAN keep the desk in bedroom clear. Focusing on the things that I can do...that's the sweet spot.
3. Make To-Do lists.
   I don't know about you, but when I see a sink full of dishes I just shut down. I get overhwhelmed at the sight, and pretend like its not there. The reality is, if I just tell myself "one dish at a time" it'll take me no time at all, and before I know it, the pile is gone. To-do lists are what tell me that my "dirty-dish pile" life can be done. Just one dish at a time. 
4. Find/Create/Define a creative space.
   Nate and I need creative space. Looking at stacks of boxes has got to be the least inspiring thing in the entire world. My friend Alyssa, from college just wrote this FANTASTIC article for Trouve Magazine about getting back your creativity, and for me, finding or creating a define creative space just spoke to me in a very profound way. For now, it looks like I'll be going to a coffee shop, but I plan on defining a space in our new place in Bakersfield.
5. Find your jam.
   This is my worship playlist. When I need to just be quiet by myself, or actually do the dishes, or box up a million things, or separate my clothes into Goodwill piles, this playlist keeps my focus on the big picture. I'm not doing this more no reason. God is moving Nate and I in a brand new and super exciting an wonderful direction. God is showing himself faithful to us! This playlist reminds me of that.

• Pieces -Amanda Cook
• Out of Hiding -Steffany Gretzinger
• God I Look To You - Jenn Johnson 
• King of my Heart- John and Sara Macmillan
• Place of freedom- Highlands Worship
• Jesus is alive- Fellowship Creative
• Here-Kari Jobe
• Come To The Altar- Elevation Worship
• Make a way- Desperation Band
• Refuge- Parrish 

Well friends, thats about it for me today. Hoping to have some outfit posts and more women in worship soon! Have a fantastic week!

Women in Worship: Kaitlyn Hermening

My first experience on a worship team was at age fourteen. The days of braces, unattractive glasses, and major identity searching. It was an awkward time in life.

You should know that when I was three years old I was taken in to see a doctor about my extreme shyness. According to my parents, I would only speak to the two of them, my sister, and maybe a grandma. Further, my dreams of becoming a dancer were crushed when my mom removed me from ballet lessons (still bitter); I definitely pulled off the pink tutu but couldn’t manage any of the moves without desperately clinging to my teacher’s hand.

 

The Lord has a sense of humor in how He shapes our paths. Little Kaitlyn wasn’t a likely candidate for leading any sort of group in something that called for public speaking, singing, or playing an instrument. At sixteen, however, I attended a youth worship conference, which exposed me to this specific ministry. Displayed before me was a team of musicians who used music as an avenue to connect with God’s heart, in response to Who He is – expressing their praise and worship through song. My heart was stirred deeply in ways I didn’t fully understand. I just knew there was a newfound passion for others to engage with God and experience His Presence, similarly to how I had then.

This was a definite turning point in my life. As my relationship with the Lord increased in love, I became a bolder and more passionate person. I finished out high school leading for my church youth group and went on my way to college to further study worship and music ministry. In the classroom, a lesson was emphasized repeatedly. It was one I’d already known experientially but was finally able to attach words to: Your private worship leads to your public worship.

I’ve heard that the way we view our earthly dad is generally associated with how we view our heavenly Father. Ephesians 3:14-15 mentions how God is the source for all fatherhood and family. The closest picture we may have to how we relate to Him can be modeled in our relationships to our dads. How do you identify?

Maybe your dad is present and engaged in your life. You feel secure as his daughter, well-loved and cherished. Maybe you appreciate him but feel disconnected - two distant lives in the same home. Maybe yours was absent or distracted – abusive, even, or a source of deep hurt. You might have learned valuable lessons from him and held him as a standard for all future relationships. Or, you might have learned from everything that was lacking, so that you would know what to avoid.

It’s only natural that you would approach God in a way that’s familiar to you, until the relationship develops in trust and healing. Do you feel the need to present to Him a cleaner, better, less needy version of yourself? Do you feel more like His employee versus His child? Are you aware of His care, leading you to have such freedom to tell Him anything and everything? Is your relationship with God a healthy one? Are you shame-ridden to even get close?

“Unreserved / Unrestrained / Your love is wild for me / It isn’t shy / It’s unashamed / Your love is proud to be seen with me / Your love’s not fractured / It’s not a troubled mind / Your love’s not passive / It’s never disengaged / Love keeps its promises / Your love’s not selfish / Your love is pure”

–“Pieces” by Amanda Cook

What made the difference for me was letting God tear down false thought patterns I had built about the gospel and letting Him plant HIS thoughts in my mind. Regardless of whether or not I may actually have the healthiest earthly relationships (as I am blessed to have a wonderful dad), my own sin and the reality of a fallen world can distort how I relate to my heavenly Father In the private is where I saw the unhealthy thoughts I really believed. When nobody else was around, I was left to confront those with the Lord and truly deal with them. I started learning His heart in the private.

If I am secure in my relationship, I will lead worship from that place of confidence. My journey has been one of blossoming into a woman who knows that her authority comes from truth. God has and is teaching me to shed away old shackles of fear and self-deprecation and shame. Instead, He clothes me in light and joy! I can live freely because my Father loves and chooses me. What perfect love He has for us that He restores us to wholeness and gives us abundant life!

My authority does not come from anything in and of myself (2nd Corinthians 3:4-6, 5:18-20). I can sing and declare truth because truth is not dependent upon me. He has validated me, and I can rest on His word.

Dearest daughter, live and lead unbound.

Kaitlyn hails from the great state of Virgina, and blogs with Worship Exposed, a team of Liberty University grads who love God, and others through worship.  If she and I didn't live on two opposite ends of the country, she'd be a regular coffee date pal for sure :) I just love her, and her heart for Jesus, and her heart for worship. If you, or someone you know would like to be a part of the Women in Worship column, please don't hesitate to email me at ParrishTheThoughtBlog@gmail.com.

Real Talk Tuesday: Learning The Value and The Responsibility of Saying No.

Good Morning!

It's cloudy here in Napa, but thats not gonna get my spirits down! I've got two days to go until I get to pick up Nate from the airport, two days until Batman vs Superman, and last but not least, two days till...Spring Break! Only good things coming my way :)

Anywho, this past week has been incredibly busy. If youre a teacher, you know, the Spring is like a speeding train that comes to an abrupt halt at the end of the year. It just gets crazier and crazier (in a good and worthwhile way of course!) We start planning for next year as soon as Winter break is over. Last week those plans started moving in place. I've been running the Chapel Leadership team auditions and interviews. Chapel Leadership is a hand selected course for the students who lead worship and run our Chapel services through videos and slide shows. What I would have given to be in a class like that in high school! Anyways, I've been interviewing and kids for the past week, and it's been so fun! It is so uplifting to hear the testimonies of our students, and to hear their hearts for the Lord and his School. Vacaville Christian Schools is totally God's School. 

There is a downside though...The band selection of the class caps at 15. We need to have enough students to fill two full bands, then we have 3 or 4  tech kids. I always have way more students audition than can be added to the course, and I have to tell them "No". One year I took on 21 students, and sacrificed the tech-team. It was crazy! I thought 5 students extra coudln't possibly be that big of a deal, but I was wrong. Too many people means not enough oppertunity. It was impossible to give kids the kind of attention and musical instruction they needed or deserved. Too many students meant that I was overhwhelmed and impatient. Were they all excellent musicians? Yes. Was I a good teacher to them? Let's say I did the very best I could... but they deserved better. 

 Saying no is not fun, but it has to be done. I have to remember, that these kids aren't mine. This class isn't mine. Chapel isn't mine. Nothing is mine. It's all God's, and there is so much more happening behind the scenes than my class. All of these students have lives of their own that the Lord is working in. All of these students have lessons that the Lord is teaching them. I have to remember that the times that I heard "no" in my life, were the times when my walk with Christ grew the most. Ultimately, isn't that point of Chapel Leadership? To help the students at Vacaville Christian Schools grow in their walks with Jesus?

We always find ourselves wanting to say "yes" to everyone. We agree to do so much, that eventually something falls through the cracks. Sometimes the something is you! For me, I always say yes because I hate letting people down. I hate the idea of someone thinking that I can't do something. It's ALWAYS rooted in pleasing others. I end up having so much (or so many people) on my plate that no one is getting the best that I can offer, and that includes God. 

Colossians 3:17 says this:  ...whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Are you like me? Are you guilty of caring way too much about what other people think? While so much of following Jesus is easier said than done, we as Christians can rely on the power of the Holy Spirit and His still, small voice. HE will give is the wisdom, reassurance, and the confidence to say "no". We actually will be able do everything He wants us to do, and it will bring Him glory. He will give us the power to do everything He wants us to do, not everything. There's a big difference, and when learn that we find power...and peace.

I Have Confidence In Sunshine - Floral Day

Hello there!

Happy Thursday to you! Friday is almost here, you can do it. This week at school it's been spirit week for the Sadie Hawkins dance it's coming up. It's been so sweet watching my students ask one another to the dance. 

I don't normally go all out for spirit week, because the less I look like a teacher the more my students tend to act like wild animals. Teaching high school can already feel like working at a zoo where they let all the animals out, I don't need more of that. However! Today was floral day and in the spring can't get enough of florals! Not to mention, I'll never deny a sweet little dress with hot pink flowers and pockets! Also I got this flower crown as a bridesmaid in my brother and sister in law's wedding over the summer and I have been dying to wear it again. Surprisingly, the opportunity has never come about... Until today!

My mom commented that I was channeling Maria from the sound of music. Another pretty well-known fact about me is that I love Maria VonTrapp with my whole heart. There's never a time where I'm not trying to be just like her. In all seriousness, "I have confidence" is one of my favorite songs. I feel like that says a lot about me, and probably surprises no one.

Spring Reading

Hi Everyone!
Happy Friday! First off, let me say the response to Women in Worship has been so awesome! Its all I can think about!! Secondly, I've got a 4 day weekend ahead for President's Day! It also happens to be Valentine's day weekend! Nate's a spontaneous romantic, so I'm excited!

I thought I would share with you what I'm reading right now! I really love love love reading, it relaxes me, and takes me out of my busy world. I'm reading three awesome books right now. They are vastly different from one another, but they really so edifying in their diffferent ways. 

1. Anne of Green Gables- L.M Montgomery. Yep, you read that right. I read it when I was a kid, and I'm now reading it as an adult. I started reading it last summer and I've gone away and come back to it. I'm finally on Rilla of Ingleside, the last book, and I have to say, I'm kinda sad. I really dont want it to end. But for those of you who are fiction readers, let's just give it up for Anne Shirley, they really don't make female Characters like they used to. She is just my absolute favorite. Anne shows us how beautiful it is to be a normal woman. She's so beautifully and creacefully normal. I can't get enough of her. I wish she was my nextdoor neighbor and that she wass my best friend. It makes me also wish I lived on Prince Edward Island.

2. The Explicit Gospel- Matt Chandler. I've been reading this book with my high school students in Chapel Leadership. If you've been churched your whole life like I have, this is a great book. I was given a firm foundation of doctrine even in my childhood, but it was never really put all together to me. Why these doctrines matter, how they matter, and that the Gospel of Jesus Christ, His reconciliation on the Cross plays a major role in Heaven also. Doctrinal principles I have always been taught coming together as one full Gospel PRestentatin. Thats what this book is for me. It's not the easiest read, but it has really shown me so much about myself, our world, and our need for Jesus. Such a great book. Quite the contrast to Anne Shirley, but hey! It's all about Balance!

3. The Best Yes- Lysa TerKeurst. I was introduced to this book by a teacher I work with, her name is Val. I hope you gals have women in your life like Val. I just watch her in amazement. She is so awesome at what she does, and she so evidently loves Jesus. I wanna be like Val. I'm only in Chapter 1, but this book is already speaking my language. IF you're like me and you legitimate love saying "yes" to every request, and want to do every possible wonderful thing this world has to offer, but then find yourself pulling your hair out because you're way overextended, I would strongly reccomend you start reading this book (I know you'd be saying yes to another thing, but this one is worth it! I you need a book to sit in a coffee shop and read with a cup of coffee and a hi-liter, this is the one. 

So there you go everyone! A little look into my coffee/by myself time. Have you gone back and ready the books you loved as a little girl? You should! What are you reading? I'd love if you picked up The Best Yes, and shared your thoughts! Kind of like an informal book club type of thing. If you have a long weeknd! Get some extra rest and enjoy! See you soon!

Summertime At Last

Hello world! It's officially summer, and I have plans on plans on plans... to hang out in the vacation world of Napa CA. It's crazy to think we've been here a year. We survived the earthquake (the biggest since 1988), I survived the school year and all of its many surprises, I gave the commencement address for our high school graduation, and now, here I am ready to take on Napa valley. 

...But first a day of catching up on rest. I plan on working on our ever growing succulent garden, reading and starting the She Reads Truth Bible study, Women in the Word, drinking a crazy amount of coffee, and playing tons of music. It's gonna be a great start to Summer.

Also, I lost my cell phone and I am in process of upgrading to an iPhone for the first time. And my process, I mean PROCESS. Come on people, it's not like I'm buying a car, or adopting a baby. Anyways!  Welcome me, world of device addicts, I am about to join you.

Dress: Anthropologie (old) Mug: Urban Outfitters (old)

She Reads Truth

Saturday's and Succulents

It's a no makeup kind of Saturday. Nathan's away recording vocals for the kingdom album that's coming out this spring, so I'm just kinda hanging out at the house. We only have one car on the weekends, typically, so it's a good oppertunity for Bible reading, music playing, Friends DVD watching, and chore doing... The first three were already checked off the list, so the chores are all that are left. Oh yeah, I can check off one of my New Years resolutions... I chopped off my hair. 

I'm A Part Of This Now

Hello everyone! It has been over a year since I've posted anything on this little ol' blog, and quite frankly I am ashamed. However! If you are social media savvy, and you are following me on other forms of internet narcissism, you have not been left out of the loop. I am still teaching and doing ministry with my husband and we are loving it. Which does bring me to my next announcement I guess, we have moved! Yes, we are living in Downtown Napa, CA now, and for the 7 days that we have lived here, we love it. I thought I would share a little bit of our new home with you. Please stay around for future posts, as I am wanting to get back into blogging. I've missed this little piece of my life :)

So, the place isn't really finished obviously, but I was so excited about the place I had to share something with you all. 

I really love older homes. Mostly becasue they just have so much more charm and character than newer buuildings. I believe our place was built in the 40's. What made mee want the place from moment I stepped in was this Hutch, and the built-in shelving. They are the perfect places for Nathan and I to put all of our treasures. And because the place is all white, my cerditos, and nate's Marvel collection really add the perfect amount of color

I know it's not a lot to show now, but once the place is really put together, I'll not hesitate to share again. It's Summer! Which means, I am on vacation, and will have plenty of time to blog. In between my new  town adventures of course! If you're familiar with Napa and have a favorite resaraunt, or vintage shop, or coffee place! Let me know! I am in the mood for serious exploration! see you soon!