Women in Worship: Kaitlyn Hermening

My first experience on a worship team was at age fourteen. The days of braces, unattractive glasses, and major identity searching. It was an awkward time in life.

You should know that when I was three years old I was taken in to see a doctor about my extreme shyness. According to my parents, I would only speak to the two of them, my sister, and maybe a grandma. Further, my dreams of becoming a dancer were crushed when my mom removed me from ballet lessons (still bitter); I definitely pulled off the pink tutu but couldn’t manage any of the moves without desperately clinging to my teacher’s hand.

 

The Lord has a sense of humor in how He shapes our paths. Little Kaitlyn wasn’t a likely candidate for leading any sort of group in something that called for public speaking, singing, or playing an instrument. At sixteen, however, I attended a youth worship conference, which exposed me to this specific ministry. Displayed before me was a team of musicians who used music as an avenue to connect with God’s heart, in response to Who He is – expressing their praise and worship through song. My heart was stirred deeply in ways I didn’t fully understand. I just knew there was a newfound passion for others to engage with God and experience His Presence, similarly to how I had then.

This was a definite turning point in my life. As my relationship with the Lord increased in love, I became a bolder and more passionate person. I finished out high school leading for my church youth group and went on my way to college to further study worship and music ministry. In the classroom, a lesson was emphasized repeatedly. It was one I’d already known experientially but was finally able to attach words to: Your private worship leads to your public worship.

I’ve heard that the way we view our earthly dad is generally associated with how we view our heavenly Father. Ephesians 3:14-15 mentions how God is the source for all fatherhood and family. The closest picture we may have to how we relate to Him can be modeled in our relationships to our dads. How do you identify?

Maybe your dad is present and engaged in your life. You feel secure as his daughter, well-loved and cherished. Maybe you appreciate him but feel disconnected - two distant lives in the same home. Maybe yours was absent or distracted – abusive, even, or a source of deep hurt. You might have learned valuable lessons from him and held him as a standard for all future relationships. Or, you might have learned from everything that was lacking, so that you would know what to avoid.

It’s only natural that you would approach God in a way that’s familiar to you, until the relationship develops in trust and healing. Do you feel the need to present to Him a cleaner, better, less needy version of yourself? Do you feel more like His employee versus His child? Are you aware of His care, leading you to have such freedom to tell Him anything and everything? Is your relationship with God a healthy one? Are you shame-ridden to even get close?

“Unreserved / Unrestrained / Your love is wild for me / It isn’t shy / It’s unashamed / Your love is proud to be seen with me / Your love’s not fractured / It’s not a troubled mind / Your love’s not passive / It’s never disengaged / Love keeps its promises / Your love’s not selfish / Your love is pure”

–“Pieces” by Amanda Cook

What made the difference for me was letting God tear down false thought patterns I had built about the gospel and letting Him plant HIS thoughts in my mind. Regardless of whether or not I may actually have the healthiest earthly relationships (as I am blessed to have a wonderful dad), my own sin and the reality of a fallen world can distort how I relate to my heavenly Father In the private is where I saw the unhealthy thoughts I really believed. When nobody else was around, I was left to confront those with the Lord and truly deal with them. I started learning His heart in the private.

If I am secure in my relationship, I will lead worship from that place of confidence. My journey has been one of blossoming into a woman who knows that her authority comes from truth. God has and is teaching me to shed away old shackles of fear and self-deprecation and shame. Instead, He clothes me in light and joy! I can live freely because my Father loves and chooses me. What perfect love He has for us that He restores us to wholeness and gives us abundant life!

My authority does not come from anything in and of myself (2nd Corinthians 3:4-6, 5:18-20). I can sing and declare truth because truth is not dependent upon me. He has validated me, and I can rest on His word.

Dearest daughter, live and lead unbound.

Kaitlyn hails from the great state of Virgina, and blogs with Worship Exposed, a team of Liberty University grads who love God, and others through worship.  If she and I didn't live on two opposite ends of the country, she'd be a regular coffee date pal for sure :) I just love her, and her heart for Jesus, and her heart for worship. If you, or someone you know would like to be a part of the Women in Worship column, please don't hesitate to email me at ParrishTheThoughtBlog@gmail.com.

I Have Confidence In Sunshine - Floral Day

Hello there!

Happy Thursday to you! Friday is almost here, you can do it. This week at school it's been spirit week for the Sadie Hawkins dance it's coming up. It's been so sweet watching my students ask one another to the dance. 

I don't normally go all out for spirit week, because the less I look like a teacher the more my students tend to act like wild animals. Teaching high school can already feel like working at a zoo where they let all the animals out, I don't need more of that. However! Today was floral day and in the spring can't get enough of florals! Not to mention, I'll never deny a sweet little dress with hot pink flowers and pockets! Also I got this flower crown as a bridesmaid in my brother and sister in law's wedding over the summer and I have been dying to wear it again. Surprisingly, the opportunity has never come about... Until today!

My mom commented that I was channeling Maria from the sound of music. Another pretty well-known fact about me is that I love Maria VonTrapp with my whole heart. There's never a time where I'm not trying to be just like her. In all seriousness, "I have confidence" is one of my favorite songs. I feel like that says a lot about me, and probably surprises no one.

The Longest Short Season- A guide to having a meltdown

Hello there, and happy Tuesday to you! Today feels very much like a Monday to me. I had yesterday off, and Tuesday's are chapel days at work which means my precious students and I have to be at school at 6:30 AM, so long weekends come to a very rude end for us. But that's not really what I wanted to discuss today.

If you've been following along with the Parrish world, you may already know that we have been navigating through a bummer season with the cancelling of the most recent Kutless tour.  The Lord has been so good to provide for us through all of it, and he has been so very faithful in preserving mine and Nate's relationship, but I have to be honest; we have had our fair share of meltdowns. 

I had a major one yesterday. I have had more than one in this season, and so has Nate. We get set off from different things, that usually have nothing to do with what we're actually feeling in our heart. Yesterday I lost my debit card, and I just lost it. I folded laundry in tears and poured out my heart while Nate just kind of sat and listened. Nate had a meltdown last week, and I actually don't remember what set him off. But it was my turn at that time to listen. Neither one of us ever really knows what to say, we just sit and listen.

This season started for us around thanksgiving. Taking turns having meltdowns and taking turns listening and encouraging. What I'm continuing to learn is that these seasons are the cost of following your dreams. Never have learned better the importance of prayer and being in the word, so that I can have the strength and wisdom to keep on being Nate's number one cheerleader, and to remember that following your dreams and your calling is worth it. Serving Jesus and living out your dreams is a scary thing. We're experiencing the not so fun side right now, and I am just now after 4 months of this, starting to learn this marriage lesson that the Lord obviously had planned. What has probably hit me the most about all of this was that I didn't learn it from being an awesome cheerleader... I got it from needing/having one.

Luna Lovegood, and why I like Halloween.

Hello There!
I don't know about you, but I feel like these past few weeks have been absolutely crazy! October is hands down the busiest time of the school year. It's super festive and fun, but it's hard to find time to catch your breath. In fact, I'm only finding time because it's Homecoming and I don't plan on going home before the big game!

Here's what's been going on with the Parrish people lately :)

It's FINALLY starting to kind of feel like Fall here in Northern California. I wore this to school today... it was 55 in the morning, but it's now 85...so I'm regretting the wool coat. 

 

We carved pumpkins this week. I made Jack Skellington. I also used the flashlight on Nate's phone for the sake of this picture. Nate took me to the pumpkin patch, and there would have been more pictures of festive fall cuteness, but the wind just wouldn't allow it. That's okay...not all moments need to be documented on Instagram or this blog.

 Nate decided he was gonna really go for it with his pumpkin and make something really intricate. Look how cute he is when he's concentrating.

 

Aaaaaand last but not least, I carved pumpkins with my kids at school.  I was introduced the pumpkin patch devotion this year. What a great way to illustrate how God picks us up off the ground and very intentionally designs us for something awesome. I know that Christian sub-culture kind of frowns on Halloween, but I feel personally (and you don't have to agree, I'm okay with that) that by not doing something I would otherwise love (wear a cute costume and eat yummy treats) I am letting the enemy win. Jesus owns October 31. You can call it Halloween, Harvest, Harvestween, whatever. I call it halloween. But, why should I be deprived of the awesomeness that is fall-time festivities? I know what Halloween is about. I've even heard sermons about the evilness of Halloween. BUT...How many people will know that I love Jesus if I turn off all the lights and lock my doors, or even worse, hand out pennies and toothbrushes? With that being said, I'm gonna carve my pumpkins, dress up (as a witch...Luna Lovegood to be exact) , and hand out individually wrapped candies that are safe, and do my best to reflect Jesus on a day that could probably use more of that.

Like A Fire In My Bones

Hello everyone!
For those of you who are unaware, I am a teacher at Christian high school. I teach four different subjects at VCS; The Life of Christ According to the Gospel of John, Chapel Leadership (Worship band for chapel), Choir, and Drama. This is right in line with what I studied in school, and since I spend so many years in youth ministry before going back to college, it really is the perfect job for me. Every single day is a true adventure.

Yesterday I took a survey in my bible classes to find out where they were at with Chapel and how they thought it could be better. It broke my heart. While they did come up with some really good objective things that we could change, and we came to a resolution to make chapel better, my students said they felt condemned, not redeemed. I have have never felt that way about Chapel, but it was clear that they were hearing something different than what I was hearing. One student actually said "The God you talk about in class and the God in they talk about in Chapel are not the same. The God in Chapel just sounds so angry." 

Oh my precious students. This is not how God feels about you.

I couldn't and cannot shake the words from my heart. And while it made me sad to hear the frustration of my students, it also gave me an overwhelming sense of purpose and protectiveness (if that's even a word). It reminded me what my job truly is. Not as a teacher, but as a Christian.  

The God in chapel and the God in Bible 10, and the God at my church are all the same God. The entire Bible being about Jesus from cover to cover means that God is about forgiveness, The Word is to point us to Hope! The Word points out that Jesus has come so that we don't have to live up to the pressure of perfection. The Word points to grace! The Word is love. The Word IS Jesus. 

Walking Adventures in Napa

Hello there folks! Hope this glorious weekend treating you well. I'm still in the honeymoon phase of living in Napa, AND I'm on summer vacation, so basically every single day is Saturday for me. I often lose track of the date.  ANWAYS! Nathan and I went on a glorious walking date around downtown, and let me just say; our date was not disappointing. This is what I wore on our little trip. I found this little Free People gem at Freestyle in Roseville, and I've been waiting for the perfect moment.

There's only trees for days everywhere you walk downtown, and it makes for the best walks. Nathan and I often walk to the Oxbow Public Market. Among the other beautiful shops and resaurants in the Oxbow, I
would have to that my favorite one is Three Twins Organic Ice Cream. These pics are from my walk yesterday with friends ho came to visit.



I am a person who gets a "usual." I only ever get the same thing over and over, and I get the Chocolate Peanut Buttercup. It is by far my very favorite, but I will say, I have yet to try a flavor that I didn't like. Oh Three Twins, you genius ice cream sibblings.

Nathan and I also walked into some Vintage shops, and I found some seriously wonderful treasures. This coat was one of my finds at Wildcats Vintage on Coombs.  This shop isnt that huge, but it is packed with tons of beautiful things.

We also walked into Napa Vintage Market, Alice's Antiques. It is so great. I coudln't get over this little camera that I seen afew days ago, and I had to go back for it. I'm pretty sure it still works, I just have to find some film for it. Just look at the color. I coudn't not get it.


Haven't really ventured out into the restaurants  yet. They are a little out of our budget, but you better believe this blog will be giving you the details on how to do Napa on a budget. There's so much you can do, and it is so fun. Anwyas, hope you loved thhis wayyyy-too-long post! See you soon!